Tonight I learned that the boardwalk in Seaside Park, New Jersey went up in flames and affected much of the Funtown Pier. This is less than a year after it was hit by Hurricane Sandy, that destroyed the Casino Pier in Seaside Heights, just a little further north on the same boardwalk. The cause of the fire, as of right now, is not known. When I heard and saw some pictures and video feed, my heart sank and tears welled up in my eyes. I have been trying to make sense of this destruction, and trying to understand why it affected me so much. I realize that just seeing pictures of the boardwalk at all, brings up emotions and memories of a carefree time that I will never have again, but seeing it in flames, somehow made that loss of a carefree life even more permanent. And yet... I also know that nothing is permanent and everything changes, but this logical part of my brain just can't override the emotions I feel at the loss of this piece of New Jersey.
I think part of it is that Seaside Heights and Seaside Park has been there as a family amusement area for many generations. My parents talked of going to Seaside as teenagers and going to the Chatterbox bar, and many of the other attractions on the boardwalk, and I know the boardwalk is something most New Jerseyans shared with their children, and then their children went to the beach during the day as teenagers and to the bars at night when they were old enough, and then shared it with their children. It was a tradition, and like many places and events in New Jersey, you feel that family tradition when you go there. You see families on the beaches, families running the businesses on the boardwalk, and you know that these families have been going to Seaside for generations and will continue to go for generations more. Seaside Park was the place I went to as a "local". I wasn't a true local as I didn't live in Seaside, but I lived in Ocean County and was 20 minutes away. I was more of a "local" than the tourists that invaded these towns in the summer. Seaside Park was the "secret" part of Seaside, where the locals went to get away from the tourists, yet still be close enough to the boardwalk to enjoy all it had to offer. While the tourists went to Seaside Park, we locals felt like Sawmill Pizza and the Berkeley Sweet Shop were "ours".
Since I moved away from NJ in 1996, I have met many ex-New Jerseyans living in other parts of the country, and when we meet, there is an immediate connection. We don't even know that the other is from New Jersey, but we exchange a couple bantering words, we make some jokes and that Jersey sarcasm, wit and confidence that we all possess, instantly binds us, even 3,000 miles from "home". Then, when we talk more and learn that we are from NJ, we nod and smile, with that knowing look that says, "Now I understand why you get me and I get you." Then, we start talking about all of the places that everyone in NJ goes to. The boardwalk always comes up, everyone in NJ goes to one of the boardwalks as part of their family tradition. Even if Seaside is not someone's family tradition, they have been there and know of it. So for me, Seaside was always a place that binds us together. It was a place where people would come together strangers and leave as friends, and even 3,000 miles away, it is a part of things that binds strangers together and makes them friends.
I know that Seaside Park and Seaside Heights will always be there in some way, shape or form, but it is forever changed. It will never be exactly the same as we remember it, which is exactly the way our parents remembered it, because not much changed there over there years. It was something you could count on. I think that this fire... on top of the Sandy Hurricane... has hit me so hard because in the current world, with things happening and changing as quickly as they are, we all NEED something we can count on. The Seaside Park and Seaside Heights Boardwalk was one of those things we could always count on... but now... we can't even count on that to be the same. And for me, if feels like the floor of certainty and predictability has been pulled out from under my feet. Yes, life will go on, but somehow for me, in this moment, it is confirmation that it will be forever changed...
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